Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Anal about Asparagus Part 1

As i was coming home from town in the green73 ford 3/4 ton pickup with over 280000 miles, I spotted a newer car with some city people driving slowly looking for something going towards my house. Well I didn't take the calculator to figure out 2 + 2 = 4, and they were looking for my asparagus. Holy Crap, I stepped on the gas and the 390 with a new transmission took off. I had to make a choice, I either decoy them or head straight to 432G My best asparagus plot, and get it picked before they discover it

I planned my strategy, I would move to the left lane put it in neutral and coast to the spot. I would get the ever present knife on the floor of the truck,and being the first picking I wouldn't need a Sack. Its right by the cracked out cement ditch.

I made my move with precision developed over the years, slammed on the brakes and flew to the spot, got the first four cut under the ground with skill of a surgeon, spotted a few more but last year stocks needed cleaned away. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw something, what could it be? The truck was still in gear and headed south without me. I know the gear shift is worn out but I'm sure I hit neutral.

With my blinding speed and the ability to leap tall buildings in a couple of tries I figured two more good ones then I best be moving. As I was streaking I heard my mother ( Don't run with a knife or you'll get hurt.) Well the truck was in high or I couldn't run as fast as I thought I could. I had to make a quick decision, do I run to the road and fly or just stay on a straight course running up the borrow pit. I hit the road and thought if I run real fast with a burst of speed I'll catch it before the first power pole. As we passed the first power pole It didn't seem like I was gaining.

Then as my eyes began to water I noticed that my framing square had fallen and wedged in the steering wheel and was steering it straight down the road. As I made my way to the side of the truck it started edging me to the soft gravel and chunks of old pavement I began to loose momentum and as the truck raced by I flung my arms over the tailgate. Remember I still clutched a knife in my right hand and a handfull of sprouts with the other. I couldn't move my legs cause they hit my knees on the bumber witch is rounded and hard to stand on. As my boots started smoking we went by Suzies house and she waved, hands full, all I could do was tip my head in the old farmers wave and yell Hi.


Nikkala said...

I'm glad you saved your asparagus from those thieves, and got your aerobic work out in at the same time!

deidra said...

Oh, how I wish I could have seen this in action, because I'm sure it wasn't nearly as graceful as you describe it. But probably twice as hilarious!

Patty P said...

Glad this one got posted for you! Love ya!

karisa said...

Brent here, WEP so you know you are getting my first ever comment. Congratulations. Pretty hilarious but you left us hangin, What happened to the truck? Before you drive your next vehicle you should read the owners manual about cruise controls.